Episode 271: Kids and Body Image: What to Say When Your Child Says They Are Ugly with Zoë Bisbing

“That safety to talk to your parent about anything, including bodies and appearances, it’s an essential ingredient to then being able to have body confidence.”

If your child says “I’m ugly,” your first instinct as a parent might be to say, “No, you’re not! Don’t say that!” And although your intentions are good, that response might shut down a conversation your child really needs to have. 

Today I am talking with Zoë Bisbang, a certified family-based treatment practitioner and founder of Body Positive Therapy New York City, where she helps families nurture healthier relationships with food and body. She explains why our children need more than a simple denial from us and how we can keep important conversations going. Zoë walks us through what we can say instead to validate what our kids are experiencing and help them learn that their body is not the problem. While these moments can feel hard and bring up a lot in you as a parent, they can actually become opportunities to build the body image resilience we want our kids to carry with them as they grow up.

While we can absolutely create a home that fosters a positive relationship with food and body, the reality is that we can’t control every single message our kids are exposed to. They are going to hear things at school, see things on social media, and absorb messages from friends, family, and the culture around them that can impact how they feel about their bodies. The goal isn’t to make sure your child never has a negative thought about their body. The goal is to help them build body image resilience, the ability to navigate those difficult thoughts and feelings when they inevitably come up. 

What You’ll Learn:

• Why reassurance isn’t always the most helpful first response
• How to stay curious and create space for your child to share what’s really going on
• Ways to teach kids that their bodies are not the problem when others make hurtful comments
• How to navigate conversations about body size, shape, and differences without reinforcing diet culture
• How these difficult moments can become opportunities to build body image resilience and recognize potential red flags for disordered eatingbe earned

A huge thank you to Zoë for giving us the tools and language we need to feel more confident and prepared the next time one of these tricky but incredibly important body conversations comes up with our kids!

Resources:

• Connect with Zoë on IG @mybodypositivehome
• Grab the Hunger & Fullness Scale Guide at DietCultureRebel.com/hungerfullnessscale and take your next step toward building trust with your body and food
• Connect with me over on Instagram at @diet.culture.rebel

Struggling with food, but not sure where to start?

You don’t have to feel 100% ready to get support. If you’re tired of obsessing over food or feeling stuck in the diet cycle, my team of Registered Dietitians is here to help. We offer one-on-one nutrition counseling—and we accept insurance! Spots are limited, so head to https://dietculturerebel.com/insurance to see if we’re covered in your state and learn how to get started.